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Forces Reunited - SCOUSE HUMOUR
www.forcesreunited.org.uk >> General >> Military Stories/Jokes >> SCOUSE HUMOUR
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john daly
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Got home from work and there was a message on the kitchen table. "Gone shopping Darling, do you fancy a Blow Job when i come home?". Well i could not believe my luck until i read the back of the note "because i have just bought 50 Balloons for the Grand kids party tomorrow, Love you.."


As i did not have £74 million to buy that painting "Scream" i have consoled my self by putting up a picture of Victoria Beckham.


Two Ice cream vans were in a head on collision today, Police say they  have" Coned the area off."
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04/05/2012 18:06:46
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John Richards
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A tanker carrying blue paint capsized in the Red Sea.

The crew were marooned.
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04/05/2012 18:21:16
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john daly
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The gathering of all denominations of clergy was well under way, lots to eat and drink. The Rabbi walked in and Father Up the Catholic priest decided to take the Pi.s  . "Hey Rabbi come and try the Pork Pies and the Roast Ham" The Rabbi said You know we only eat Kosher food, the priest said "You should try it, you dont know what your missing"....... Later when the Rabbi is leaving he says By by Reverend  give my regards to your wife.
the Catholic says "But you must know Rabbi that we do not have wives  and are celibate"   The Rabbi smiles and says "You should try it, you dont know what your missing"....

( For Tony and Patricia)


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05/05/2012 16:07:06
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john daly
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Wouldent say our first child was ugly but his Mother used to feed him with a Catapult.

Its reported that Roy Hodgson, the new English manager has a speech impediment.
He is a guest on tonights Jonathon Woss programme and the audience have been advised to wear Rainmacs.

I cant wait for Roy  to give his opinion on the forthcoming Euro Tounament when England play Wussia, Gweece and finally the Democwatic Webublic of Kowea.
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05/05/2012 16:15:25
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john daly
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Just heard on Merseyside Radio that if Liverpool win the F. A. Cup today "There will be a lot of heavy drinking and no work for quite a while"

No change there then.      (Sorry Thomas)


Went to the Cash machine and it said "Pleaseenter
your card face up .. So i did and when i stopped looking at the Moon i found someone had pinched the card.


If Samuel L. Jackson    takes and passes his driving test will he then be known as Samuel Jackson
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05/05/2012 16:56:28
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