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| A survey showed that early morning weddings in Liverpool are more popular than later. That way if the Marriage does not work out they have not wasted the whole day.|
Paddy at the Races when a fellow came up and said "Would you like the winner of the next race?".
Paddy said "No thank you, we only have a small garden and besides we are both out at work all day."
The wife said "You men make me sick, always chasing women you don’t intend to marry, Why is that?. So i said "Well dogs chase motor cars but they don’t intend to drive them".
My Daughter came home and said "Dad can i bring my boyfriend home tonight"?. I said Whats his name?
she said "He is from Malta and is called Cuorey" I asked Whats his second name and she answered "Ossity"
I told her O.K. but with a name like that just keep him away from the Cat.
I just had to write to you. I am fed up with people calling their children stupid names these days,, like Peaches, Zak, Apricot, Pilto etc.
Yours Faithfully Jack Aloishus Turkington Podge Cranstead the Fifth.