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Paddy decides to treat himself to a decent holiday at a beach resort. After being there a couple of days and having no luck with the bikini clad beauties, he goes to have a word with the life guard at the beach who is always surrounded by dollies.
" Paddy" says the lifeguard, " A bit of advice, loose the big baggy shorts, buy a pair of speedos - two sizes too small and drop a spud inside ’em, that’ll do the trick".
Paddy says thanks and wanders off to carry out the instructions. A few days later he meets the lifeguard at the beach and moans to him that his advice failed, the lifeguard looks Paddy over and replies " Paddy , you’re supposed to put the spud down the FRONT ".