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Forces Reunited - SCOUSE HUMOUR
www.forcesreunited.org.uk >> General >> Military Stories/Jokes >> SCOUSE HUMOUR
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Alan Anthony Yuill
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The monkey enters the rocket and finds an envelope marked “Monkey”. It opens it and reads the letter. It contained very precise and complicated instructions on how to fly the rocket. The Scouser enters the rocket and finds an envelope marked “Scouser”. He opens and reads the letter. It said “Feed the monkey”

Smile and you will always be happy.
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08/10/2010 14:12:57
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john daly
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Torres is taken off injured during the Liverpool v Everton match and losing 2.0. Roy Hodgson decides to take a chance on his latest signihg a 17 year old Bosnian. Through an interpretor he tells the lad to play up front. The lad goes on and scores 3 goals and comes off to a standing ovation from the Kop and the Match Ball.  He phones hi Mother and tells her the News. She replies in their native tongue " I also have news. Your father was out foraging for food and was shot dead, your Brother was set upon by a drunken gang of youths and has broken legs plus your sister was dragged out of a market and raped in broad daylight. Not only that the house was fire bombed And its all YOUR fault.   Why is it my fault? asks the Lad ."you Because brought us here to Liverpool......
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08/10/2010 18:25:11
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thomas fleming
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Breakfast

She was standing in the kitchen,

preparing to boil eggs for breakfast,

wearing only the ’T’ shirt that she normally slept in.

As I walked in almost awake,

she turned and said softly,

’You’ve got to make love to me this very moment.’

My eyes lit up and I thought,

’I am either still dreaming or

this is going to be my lucky day.’

Not wanting to lose the moment,

I embraced her and then gave it my all;

right there on the kitchen table.

Immediately afterwards she said,

’Thanks,’

and returned to the stove, her ’T’ shirt

still around her neck.

A little puzzled, I asked,

’What was that all about?’

She explained. .

’The egg timer is broken’

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08/10/2010 21:36:13
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Alan Anthony Yuill
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scouser goes into to see his doctor with a large pus filled boil on his face. The doctor says “What’s that horrible growth you’ve got there?” The Scouser replies “Its a dirty great boil aint it!” To which the doctor retorts “Shut up – I was talking to the boil!”


Smile and you will always be happy.
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09/10/2010 14:10:37
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john daly
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There was a Traffic accident in Dublin and the injured were laid in the road by the Paramedics. One of them, Paddy, was asked by a Polceman "Tell me your name and i’ll tell your Mother.  Paddy says "My Mother knows my name.



Bridie says to her boyfriend Paddy.
Do you like my Hair?
Paddy   Mmmmm.

Do you think i have a beautiful figure Paddy?

Paddy  Mmmmm.

Do you think my Lips are full and Sexy?.

Paddy  Mmmmm.

Bridie.  Ooo. Paddy you say the lovliest things.
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09/10/2010 18:04:57
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