Forces Reunited
Current Members: 1,580,572  
 
 
    HOME    
FORCES WAR RECORDS
 FORCES SHOP 
FORCES DATING
FORCES DISCOUNTS

Community
  >> Search >> Home


You are not logged in. Click here to login or click here to register.

Turn off these pesky adverts! - What is this?
Get a FREE "Proud to be a Forces veteran" Badge
Show how proud you are to be a Forces Veteran with your free badge.
Click Here Now!

Forces Reunited - SCOUSE HUMOUR
www.forcesreunited.org.uk >> General >> Military Stories/Jokes >> SCOUSE HUMOUR
Forces Reunited Forums
>> Post New Topic
<< Prev 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 [22] 23 24 25 ... 353 354 Next >>
AuthorTopic
Danny Jordan
Add Forum Tag



Membership Level: Basic
Posts: 98
Status: Offline

Quoting: john daly
What do you call a good looking Women on an Everton supporters arm??.

A Tattoo.



Taking the p.ss out of Everton and Man united, that’s what I call being fair and even-handed.
Report Post
05/10/2010 15:21:10
                                                   >> Edit This Post >> Quote This Post
john daly
Add Forum Tag



Membership Level: Full
Posts: 8166
Status: Offline

Quoting: Danny JORDAN


Taking the p.ss out of Everton and Man united, that’s what I call being fair and even-handed.



OK. Danny Did you Know that at Goodison park they have got a new Telephone number for  Trophy Enquiries.   0800  1.0.1.0.1.0.1.0.1.0. won none.

Report Post
05/10/2010 15:41:41
                                                   >> Edit This Post >> Quote This Post
Danny Jordan
Add Forum Tag



Membership Level: Basic
Posts: 98
Status: Offline

Quoting: john daly


OK. Danny Did you Know that at Goodison park they have got a new Telephone number for  Trophy Enquiries.   0800  1.0.1.0.1.0.1.0.1.0. won none.




Nice one John but I’m being careful not to deride Everton too much because Liverpool are in such a state that the blues are in with a helluva chance on 17th.
Report Post
05/10/2010 15:44:48
                                                   >> Edit This Post >> Quote This Post
john daly
Add Forum Tag



Membership Level: Full
Posts: 8166
Status: Offline
Police on Merseyside are looking for burglars who broke into Evertons Trophy room and stole the entire contents...The public are being asked to look out for a very dusty carpet and maybe Lord Lucan and Shergar.
Report Post
05/10/2010 15:53:24
                                                   >> Edit This Post >> Quote This Post
thomas fleming
Add Forum Tag



Membership Level: Full
Posts: 1267
Status: Offline
Back to Normal

A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and asked, "May I see your driver’s license?"

The driver answered, "I don’t have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI."

The officer asked, "May I see the owner’s card for this vehicle?"

The driver answered,"It’s not my car. I stole it."

The officer asked, "The car is stolen?"

The driver answered, "That’s right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner’s card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there."

The officer asked, "There’s a gun in the glove box?"

The driver answered, "Yes sir. That’s where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk."

The officer asked, "There’s a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?"

The driver answered, "Yes, sir."

Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by! police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation.

The Captain asked, "Sir, can I see your license?" The driver answered, "Sure. Here it is." It was valid.

The Captain asked, "Who’s car is this?"

The driver answered, "It’s mine, officer. Here’s the owner’ card." The driver owned the car.

The Captain asked, "Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there’s a gun in it?"

The driver answered, "Yes, sir, but there’s no gun in it." Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.

The Captain asked, "Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there’s a body in it."

The driver answered, "No problem." Trunk is opened; no body.

The Captain said, "I don’t understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn’t have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glovebox, and that there was a dead body in the trunk."

The driver answered, "Yeah, I’ll bet the lying s.o.b. told you I was speeding, too!"
Report Post
05/10/2010 16:06:31
                                                   >> Edit This Post >> Quote This Post
<< Prev 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 [22] 23 24 25 ... 353 354 Next >>
>> Reply To This Post
Moderated By: Murray Whyte, Edward Bishop,Bob Draper
Users Here: Edward Bishop
REGISTER
LOGIN
FIND FRIENDS
MILITARY NEWS
CAMPAIGNS
REUNIONS
GALLERY
FORUMS
CHAT ROOM
REMEMBRANCE
HONOUR ROLL
TESTIMONIALS
MEMORIES
COMPETITIONS
ADVERTISE
MEDIA CENTRE
WHO'S ONLINE?
AFFILIATES
FAQ/CONTACT US
ABOUT US
BLOG
BOOKMARK US
HOME
Recommend this page to a friend.
Your Name:
Friends Name:
Friends Email:

This site uses cookies. For information on this, please see our privacy policy

About Contact Us Advertise Military Records New Members Terms Military Genealogy Sitemap