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Forces Reunited - SCOUSE HUMOUR
www.forcesreunited.org.uk >> General >> Military Stories/Jokes >> SCOUSE HUMOUR
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john daly
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Factoids
      Scissors are the biggest cause of Hair loss in the U.K.


    Towels are the biggest cause of dry skin in the U.K.
..........................................................................

I bought a guard dog this week and he is really good, I have’nt been able to get inside the house for 3 days.


Sioux warrior go into Tattoo parlour, " Do Indian brave on arm" The man says O.K. sit down.
After a while The warrior says "You put Indian with Tomahawk in Hand also"  The tattooist says  "Yes, no problem, i have nearly finished the Turban."
       
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18/05/2012 12:14:13
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john daly
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Just got news that our Holiday home in Greece has been burgled. It seems they have just  taken 10,000 euros out of the safe in  the bedroom  so luckily nothing of value has been stolen.
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18/05/2012 16:20:20
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john daly
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I was sat watching TV. when the door opened and in came the wife, before i knew what was happening a warm body was on my knee, a wet full on lips kiss and
hot tongue down my throat.    Like any red blooded male I did the only thing possible......









Get that Bloody dog off me and keep him outside
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18/05/2012 19:17:42
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john daly
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The wife went to a Hen Party last night....
There was Loads of Alcohol, strippers and sex, everybody had a great time..... I had better get the place cleaned up before she comes home.


I looked ouside and there were two young Hoodies stood in my Garden.  aked what they were doing there and one said "We thought you had gone to Spain on Holiday". I told them  No, its tomorrow, i leave at 6 am.   They said "Have a nice time"
   What nice young lads........


Follow this recipe for a cheap, but surprisingly tender Pigeon Pie......

First get some Bread Crumbs and a Rolling Pin.
Then take the Bread Crumbs and the Rolling Pin to the Park.
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19/05/2012 12:36:42
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john daly
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Paddy was in Hospital with a broken shoulder and a nurse asked him how did it . "Well the wife went off to ASDA. and asked me to Hoover the whole  House and while doing it i fell off the Roof".


I just rang Seaworld in Florida, a voice at the end of the line said " This call may be recorded for training Poirposes.





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20/05/2012 17:42:57
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