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Forces Reunited - SCOUSE HUMOUR
www.forcesreunited.org.uk >> General >> Military Stories/Jokes >> SCOUSE HUMOUR
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thomas fleming
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What Do Retired People Do All Day?

Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting.
Well, for example, the other day my wife and I went into town and went into a shop.
We were only in there for about 5 minutes and when we came out, there was a traffic warden writing out a parking ticket.
We went up to him and said, ’Come on man, how about giving a senior citizen a break?’

He ignored us and continued writing the ticket.
I called him a Nazi turd.
He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn tyres.
So my wife called him a **** (offensive word removed)-head. He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket.
This went on for about 20 minutes. The more we abused him, the more tickets he wrote.
Personally, we didn’t care.
We came into town by bus.
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22/09/2010 17:16:28
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thomas fleming
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WASPS

My uncle died the other day. He was only 30.
He got stung by a wasp-the natural enemy of the tightrope walker
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22/09/2010 17:50:08
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thomas fleming
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What’s the difference between falling out of a first floor window and falling out of a twentieth-floor window?
From a first floor window you go:THUMP-"Argggh!"
From the twenthieth-floor window you go:"Argggh!"-Thump
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22/09/2010 17:52:01
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john daly
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Quoting: thomas fleming
My uncle died the other day. He was only 30.
He got stung by a wasp-the natural enemy of the tightrope walker  



Thomas.

My uncle was told to wear "White at Night" to be seen on the road. So he wore white cap,white sweater and trousers, just to be safer he bought white  trainers.

First time he went out he was killed

Knocked down by a Snow Plough.  














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22/09/2010 19:34:56
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Alan Anthony Yuill
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A doctor has a stethoscope up to a man’s chest. The man asks, "Doc, how do I stand?" The doctor says, "That’s what puzzles me!"

Smile and you will always be happy.
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22/09/2010 22:48:43
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