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Forces Reunited - SCOUSE HUMOUR
www.forcesreunited.org.uk >> General >> Military Stories/Jokes >> SCOUSE HUMOUR
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Alan Anthony Yuill
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The government have announced that anyone who has bought any lumps of useless Irish meat is entitled to a full refund.

Because of this, Liverpool have asked Spurs for their money back!

Smile and you will always be happy.
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12/09/2010 23:05:07
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thomas fleming
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Nudist Colony

Nudist Colony
A man pretended to his wife that he is going out on a business trip and joined a very exclusive nudist colony " on a week end package". On his first day he took off his clothes and started to wander around the area. A gorgeous petite blonde walked by, and the man immediately got an erection.

The woman noticed his erection, came over to him and asked, did you call for me?

The man replied, ’No, what do you mean?’

She said, ’You must be new here. Let me explain. It’s a rule here that if you get an erection, it implies you called for me’

Smiling, she lead him to the side of the swimming pool, laid down on a towel eagerly pulled him to her and happily let him have his way with her.

Later, the man continued to explore the colony’s facilities.

He entered the sauna and as he sat down, he farted.  Within seconds a huge, hairy man lumbered out of the steam room toward him

’Did you call for me?’ asked the hairy man.

’No, what do you mean?’ replied the newcomer.

You must be new.’ answered the hairy man, ’It’s a rule that if you fart, it implies that you called for me.’

The huge man easily spun him around, put him over a bench and had his way with the newcomer.

The newcomer staggered back to the colony office where he was greeted by a smiling, naked receptionist, ’May I help you?’ she asked.

’Here’s my membership card. You can have the key back and you can keep the $500 membership fee.’

’But, Sir,’ she replied, ’you’ve only been here a few hours. You haven’t had a chance to see all our facilities.’

’Listen lady, I’m 68 years old. I only get an erection once a month, but I fart 15 times a day. I’m outta here
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14/09/2010 18:06:44
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thomas fleming
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A guy hires a hitman to kill his wife of 40 years. The hitman says It will take 1 shot just below her left breast!Hubby says "I want her dead not kneecapped!
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16/09/2010 20:05:34
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Alan Anthony Yuill
"Silver Surfer"





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Q. Why do pigeons fly upside down over Liverpool?
A. Because there’s nothing worth shitting on.

Smile and you will always be happy.
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17/09/2010 14:05:20
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thomas fleming
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LIFE WAS HARD

When I was a kid people used to cover me in Chocolate and cream then put a cherry on my head......

Yes... life was tough in the gateau

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22/09/2010 17:07:28
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