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Quoting: Alan Anthony Yuill
Went to the doctor for my yearly physical.

     The nurse starts with certain basics.

     How much do you weigh?’ she asks. ’135,’ I say.
    The nurse puts me on the scale. It turns out my weight is 180.

     The nurse asks, ’Your height?’ ’5 foot 4,’ I say.
    The nurse checks and sees that I only measure 5’2’.

     She then takes my blood pressure and tells me it is very high.

    ’Of course it’s high!’ I scream, ’When I came in here I was tall
     and slender! Now I’m short and fat!’

    She put me on Prozac.  What a bitch.


 

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Quoting: kevin woods

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