Forces Reunited - A few jokes to start the day

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www.forcesreunited.org.uk >> General >> Military Stories/Jokes >> A few jokes to start the day
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Alan Anthony Yuill
"Silver Surfer"

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A six year old goes to the hospital with her grandmother to visit her Grandpa.
When they get to the hospital, she runs ahead of her Grandma and bursts into her Grandpa’s room ....

"Grandpa, Grandpa," she says excitedly, "As soon as Grandma comes into the room, make a noise like a frog!"

"What?" said her Grandpa.

"Please, please, please make a noise like a frog because Grandma said that as soon as you croak, we’re all going to Disneyland!"

Smile and you will always be happy.

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25/05/2012 13:20:31

john daly
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Paddy, Jock and Cuthbert were sat on top of a building having their lunch. 20 stories up.

Jock opened his sandwiches and said "Haggis again, i get Haggis every day, if i get Haggis tomorrow i will jump off this buiding."

Paddy opens his and says " Cheese again, i get Cheese every day, if i get Cheese tomorrow i throw myself off as well".

Cuthbert does the same "Ham, bloody ham every day, if i get Ham tomorrow i wll throw myself off as well.

Following day they sit down and Cuthbert finds Beef in his sandwich.
Jock opens his and finds fine Scotch salmon.

Paddy opens his"Damm cheese again, Thats it" he jumps up and dives off the roof.

At his Funeral his wife says to his two Co Workers
"Did Paddy seem upset at work?." Jock tells her "He was very upset about having Cheese in his sandwiches every single day. The widow says "I am surprised at that because Paddy always insisted on making his own.

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25/05/2012 13:29:09

Alan Anthony Yuill
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My girlfriend said she was leaving me due to my obsession with the 60’s group The Monkees.
I thought she was joking ........ and then I saw her face

Smile and you will always be happy.

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25/05/2012 13:31:38

Alan Anthony Yuill
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I just took a leaflet out of my mailbox, informing me that I can have sex at 79.
I’m so happy, because I live at number 71.
So it’s not too far to walk home afterwards.
And it is the same side of the street.
I don’t have to cross the road!

Smile and you will always be happy.

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25/05/2012 13:57:49

john daly
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[QUOTE]Quoting: Alan Anthony Yuill
[I]My girlfriend said she was leaving me due to my obsession with the 60�s group The Monkees.
I thought she was joking ........ and then I saw her face

Tony. My Missus is also threatening to leave me, She says i am obsessed with Gloria Gaynor, i told her not to be so ridiculous and just "Go on now go, walk out that door, just turn around now ’cos your not wlcome anymore."

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26/05/2012 09:44:05

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