Forces Reunited - A few jokes to start the day

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www.forcesreunited.org.uk >> General >> Military Stories/Jokes >> A few jokes to start the day
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Alan Anthony Yuill
"Silver Surfer"

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Wife say’s to her Husband (as she packs her bags)
"I’m leaving you and the reason is Illness, and fatigue."

Husband (What do you mean)

Wife "It means I’m Sick and Tired of you"

Smile and you will always be happy.

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23/05/2012 15:00:03

Alan Anthony Yuill
"Silver Surfer"

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Posts: 17263
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Went into the Bank, and asked "How do i stand fora
$10,000 LOAN"?
"Bank Manager said you don’t you kneel. "

Smile and you will always be happy.

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24/05/2012 09:23:04

john daly
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[QUOTE]Quoting: Alan Anthony Yuill
[I]Sheila asked her friend Doris, �"Did you you really intend to get pregnant "

Doris " No it was a #!#!#!# Real C#ck Up"

Polish girl in the Clinic says to her pal, I think i am pregnant.
Pal says Have you had a Check up?
Polish girl says No it was a lad from Poland
................

On learning she was pregnant the girl told the Doctor "But we have only made love with our eyes"
The Doc said "Well then your boyfriend must be Cockeyed"
.....................................
But Doctor i can’t possibly be pregnant, i have only been taking Herbs. Doctor said "Well you had
better tell Herbert that he has slipped up

Good Morning Tony...

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24/05/2012 09:38:59

john daly
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At the London Olympics the Romanions have told the committee that should they win any Gold medals that they do not have a National anthem. So the commitee has asked the The New Seekers to stand by to sing their 70s hit "Beg steal or Borrow"

In the restaurant last night on the next table were a family of eight with their heads bowed and hands clasped together as their food came.
I said to the wife How nice to see a whole family saying grace before meals.
She said "Don’t be stupid, They are texting"

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24/05/2012 09:50:01

Alan Anthony Yuill
"Silver Surfer"

Membership Level: Full
Posts: 17263
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Quoting: john daly
At the London Olympics the Romanions have told the committee that should they win any Gold medals that they do not have a National anthem. So the commitee has asked the The New Seekers to stand by to sing their 70s hit "Beg steal or Borrow"

In the restaurant last night on the next table were a family of eight with their heads bowed and hands clasped together as their food came.
I said to the wife How nice to see a whole family saying grace before meals.
She said "Don�t be stupid, They are texting"

Very good John

Have you heard about the pig that took swine flu. First It came out in rashers, then had a dose of the trotters. It then took some oinkment and ended up CURED.

And all the people either stuck in Mexico or had their holidays cancelled. They all must be as sick as a pig or they could just be a bunch of squealers.

All the media experts who are probably exaggerating the seriousness of the situation have been accused of telling porkies.

How did the pig go on holiday. The swine flu.

Smile and you will always be happy.

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24/05/2012 10:18:24

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