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Forces Reunited - A few jokes to start the day
www.forcesreunited.org.uk >> General >> Military Stories/Jokes >> A few jokes to start the day
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john daly
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Down at the Social club they are sat round the table  discussing "Happy marriages and keeping it alive. Different couples give their ideas and then Bill and Mary say "We keep our 30 year old marriage alive by respecting each others point of view and always saying Goodnight i love you" plus we have made a point of always going out  every two weeks or so to a little restaurant, having a meal, a bottle of wine , holding hands and as the evening wears on we slip away and have sex in the car just like we did when we were teenagers.
Back in the club someone says thats a wonderful story and so thats what keeps your marriage together?.  Bill says "Yes, definitely, Mary goes Tuesday and I go Thursdays......
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10/05/2012 11:05:59
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John (scouse) Hirons
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Three men talking in a London ’Gentlemans Club’

1st man---I think the epitomy of sophistication is if a amn comes home & finds his best friend making love to his wife says "oh I am sorry" & leaves.

2nd man---That is sophisticated but true sophistication is when a man comes home & finds his best friend making love to his wife & says "Oh I am sorry, please carry on" & then leaves.

3rd man---That is very sophisticated but the ultimate in sophistication is the man comes home & finds his best friend making love to his wife & says "Oh I am sorry, please carry on" then leaves & his wife & his best friend CAN carry on.  

A situation may be desperate but never serious
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10/05/2012 14:33:20
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john daly
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 Berlin 1942 ( Nearly 8 oclock)  Two of Irelands finest Commandoes are parachuted into Germany, their mission,  to kill Adolf Hitler. They take up position on the side of the road. Pat says to MIck, "Our intelligence tells us that Hitler willl be passing here at 9 oclock and this is the Plan, I will machine gun the outriders whist you lob the grenades into the Car. Remember we are here to kill an evil man who has murdered thousands, After the grenades i wll strafe the car and at the same time you use the flame thrower on him to make sure we rid the Free world of this Despot, Do you understand Mick.?".
 Mick says I understand my orders Pat.
9 oclock comes and Pat says "Ok. Mick standby"
After half an hour and no sign of the  Fuhrer Pat whispers to Mick "He is late but be ready" .....Mick whispers back " Yes, he is late I hope nothing has happened to him"
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10/05/2012 14:36:00
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Alan Anthony Yuill
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Two dogs and a cat go to a prom, and they enjoy it so much that they asked to go backstage. The doorman says: "You can’t come back here, what do you know about music?" The first dog said: "I Bach," the second one said: "I Offenbach," and the cat said: "I’m Debussy."  

Smile and you will always be happy.
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10/05/2012 14:40:51
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john daly
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[QUOTE]Quoting: Alan Anthony Yuill
[I]Two dogs and a cat go to a prom, and they enjoy it so much that they asked to go backstage. The doorman says: "You can’t come back here, what do you know about music?" The first dog said: "I Bach," the second one said: "I Offenbach," and the cat said: "I’m Debussy."  




The cat also said My uncle has a part in the Third violin.
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10/05/2012 14:43:22
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