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Forces Reunited - A few jokes to start the day
www.forcesreunited.org.uk >> General >> Military Stories/Jokes >> A few jokes to start the day
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Alan Anthony Yuill
"Silver Surfer"





Membership Level: Full
Posts: 17263
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A teenage girl phones her dad at midnight and says. "Can you come and
get me? I’ve missed the last bus and it’s pouring with rain." "Okay"
says her dad. "Where are you ringing from?" And the girl says: "from
the top of my head right down to my knickers".

Smile and you will always be happy.
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03/06/2009 22:42:28
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Alan Anthony Yuill
"Silver Surfer"





Membership Level: Full
Posts: 17263
Status: Offline
The Fire brigade phones George Graham in the early hours of Sunday morning.
"Mr Graham sir, White Hart Lane is on fire!"
"The cups man! Save the cups!" cries George.
"Uh, the fire hasn’t spread to the canteen yet, sir."

Smile and you will always be happy.
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05/06/2009 00:33:00
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Alan Anthony Yuill
"Silver Surfer"





Membership Level: Full
Posts: 17263
Status: Offline
A man walks into a greasy spoon diner, sits up at the counter and orders a hamburger. The cook reaches into a container of ground beef with his bare hand and pulls out a wad of beef. He slaps the wad into his bare armpit and flattens it by flapping his arm 3 or 4 times.

The man turns to the patron on his right and says: ’Oh my God! That’s the grossest thing I’ve ever seen!’

The other customer replies: ’Oh hell, that’s nothing. You should come here in the morning when he is making donuts!’

Smile and you will always be happy.
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05/06/2009 00:37:15
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Alan Anthony Yuill
"Silver Surfer"





Membership Level: Full
Posts: 17263
Status: Offline
Gotta pee...

Two women friends had gone for a girl’s night out. Both were very faithful and loving wives, but they had gotten over-enthusiastic on the Bacardi Breezers.

Incredibly drunk and walking home they needed to pee, so they stopped in the cemetery..

One of them had nothing to wipe with so she thought she would take off her panties and use them.

Her friend however was wearing a rather expensive pair of panties and did not want to ruin them.

She was lucky enough to squat down next to a grave that had a wreath with a ribbon on it, so she proceeded to wipe with that.
After the girls did their business, they proceeded to go home.

The next day one of the  women’s husbands was concerned that his normally sweet and innocent wife was still in bed hung over, so he phoned the other hu sband and said, ’These girl nights out have got to stop!  I’m starting to suspect the worst... My wife came home with no panties!!’

’That’s nothing,’ said the other husband,  ’Mine came back with a card stuck to her ass that said......

’From all of us at the Fire Station. We’ll never forget you!’

Smile and you will always be happy.
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05/06/2009 22:53:30
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Alan Anthony Yuill
"Silver Surfer"





Membership Level: Full
Posts: 17263
Status: Offline
The boyfriend said, ?We?re going to have a GREAT time Saturday. I?ve gotten three tickets for the big game.?
?Why do we need three ?? asked the girl.
?They?re for your Father, Mother, and kid sister.? he replied with a sheepish grin.

Smile and you will always be happy.
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05/06/2009 22:57:34
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