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Forces Reunited - Guys Side
www.forcesreunited.org.uk >> General >> Military Stories/Jokes >> Guys Side
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Mac McWilliam
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Membership Level: Basic
Posts: 20
Status: Offline
Guys Side


Finally, the guys’ side of the  story.

We  always
hear "the rules"
From the female  side.
Now here are the rules from the male  side.
These are our rules!
ON PURPOSE!

1.   Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down.
We need  it up, you need it down.
You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It’s like the full  moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it  be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are  never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say  it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost  every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.
That’s what we  do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1.  A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem.

See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible
n an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you won’t dress like the Victoria ’s Secret girls, don’t
Expect us to
act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think  you’re fat, you probably are.
Don’t ask us.

1 If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the
ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the  other  one

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or  tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already  know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a
fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like
nothing’s wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, Expect an
answer you
don’t want to hear.

1.  When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is
fine...Really.

1 Don’t ask us what we’re thinking  about unless you are prepared to
discuss
such topics as  baseball, the shotgun formation,
or golf.

1. You  have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape.  Round IS a  shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;

But did you know men really don’t mind that? It’s like camping.

Report Post
03/11/2006 15:20:44
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Phillip Strawn
"soft southern barsteward"





Membership Level: Full
Posts: 765
Status: Offline
the truth will hurt

I fully agree with everything written by Mac,
which is why I am flat on my back,
I expained to my wife that its a new way of life,
so she cut off my b"$%s with a knife.

politeness costs nothing,rudeness loses friends
Report Post
03/11/2006 19:24:59
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