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|Our Doctor gave me some tablets for the Missus to take to help with our sex life. They are really amazing|
and helped a lot. The only thing is I have had to buy an alarm clock to wake her up afterwards.
I have always wanted to know what the inside of a golf ball looked like so this morning I picked one up and sliced it in half, A geezer in funny trousers came up and went bananas.
I gave this good looking lass a lift this morning and she was very chatty so I invited myself into her flat for a coffee, after a while things got steamy and when I returned to my vehicle the Inspector would not let me back on my bus.
Divers on the stricken Cruise ship Concordia found two Glaswegians at the Bar, They told the Italian divers "F..k Off we are inclusive"
Teacher in Glasgow school asks a kid "If you have £5. and I ask to borrow £2. what will you have left ?.
The kid says "£5. Miss.