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Forces Reunited - A few jokes to start the day
www.forcesreunited.org.uk >> General >> Military Stories/Jokes >> A few jokes to start the day
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john daly
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Grand dad was always a stubborn bugger, even when two doctors told him he only had six months to live he was determined to prove them wrong. "I’ll show ’em " he told me He shot himself after two weeks.



The girl friend and I were in bed talking about sex and the riskiest  place one had done it. I told her "I once had it in the Zoo" she said "That does not sound very risky"  I told her "It is if you try and have it with an Ostrich"  "Ooh" she said "Bet that hurt" So I told her "Yes it does but only until you get in step"



Chinese feller goes in the Bank and changes some money, the following day he is in there again and get less Stirling for his Yen. "Yesterday I come in and get more money, why is that" he asks. the Bank clerk says "Fluctuations" The Chinamen says "And Fluck you Blitish too"



We had a Band  some years ago called "Missing Cat"
  you might have seen our name on Posters.







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john daly
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I have always been interested in music, some years ago I went to see Dr. Hook.
  (worst prostate examination I have ever had)



Great Gran has always been a bit vain, she was 93 years old when she was told she could not have a facelift . You should have seen the look on her neck.



My Father in Law who was 6ft. 7 ins tall was a G.I. in the States and later came to England and joined the
R.A.F.    He once said to me " I don’t know why you Limeys always call me "Giraffe"


My fat Mate Paddy and his equally fat mates have formed a Tribute Band to a Californian singing  group from the 60s.  They are calling themselves  "The Beach Balls"



On holiday in South Wales one of the children asked "Daddy why have the sheep got dye on their backs ?" I told him "So that the Farmer knows which are his sheep"
( Luckily the kids were not looking as Dai climbed off of one)


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john daly
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Sky Breaking News.
   A Jet aircraft had to return to Heathrow this morning after an engine caught fire shortly after take off. Though emergency services were called out  the plane landed safely
A spokesman at Heathrow said it was a "Technical Fault.
  On returning to the Terminal quite a few of the 73 passengers were seen to have "Technical Faults" in the rearof their trousers.

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