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|After their defeat at home last Saturday Manchester United are to be renamed "Port Talbot" as they are now sandwiched between Cardiff and Swansea.|
If you have been in B. and Q. for ages without assistance from staff simply start up one of the Chain Saws and then see the difference.
After 2 hours of hard bargaining with the car salesman at my local showroom I finally came home with what I wanted. † My wife is insisting I return it immediately to the garage. she says " We simply do not have room for a 30 foot rubber Banana"
After the recent elections in Australia a government spokesman said that there were appox. 600 thousand Illegal immigrants in Oz.
† † An Aboriginal spokesman commented that there were †over 22 million Illegal immigrants in Oz.
Suarez, the Liverpool striker returned after a 10 match ban for biting and scored 2 goals, the Daily Mail sports page headline "Suarez gets a Brace"
†personally I think a Muzzle would be better
Paddy and his son fishing on a Lake.
Son. How come we donít sink in this boat Dad ?
Dad. Um.. not sure son.
Son How come the Sky is so blue today but yesterday was cloudy Dad ?.
Dad. I have no idea.
Later. Son Dad why are there so many stars and what keeps them up in the sky ?
Dad. I †donít know Son.
Son. Dad, Where do Elephants go to die ?.
Dad. I do not have a clue
†Son. Dad I hope you donít mind me asking you all these questions.
Dad. Not at all Son, not at all how are you ever going to learn anything unless you ask questions.
Last edited by john daly